Our Friday Discussion: Pretending vs. Actualizing
Are we all actually “Faking it until we make it”?
Quote for today
No matter who you are, no matter what you did, no matter where you’ve come from, you can always change, become a better version of yourself.
Madonna
Pretending vs. Actualizing
Good day, it’s me again, do you sometimes think you are not who you are. Or you choose to act based on who you want to be, then you get the feeling “Oooh, I am just faking it”?
In today newsletter, we will be discussing on pretending vs. actualizing. How to know if it is just a muse play or you actual taking the required step of change.
So, what is pretending and what is actualizing?
I simply would define in this context, Pretending as acting as someone different from who you are for the mere aim of deception, while Actualizing as acting someone different from your current state for the aim of self-development.
When pretending or generally known as faking, we portray a character we are not to fool or impress a person, we do not hope to be like that but believe we can buy our way with such identity. But when actualizing, we push or bring ourselves to a character we deem fit for us, in expectation to become like that.
The process of actualizing is differentiated by first the motive to become and then the required action behind and on the scene. The truth is that to evolve into a better person, one must leave the previous lifestyle, actions & habits, to pick up a better version and portray it even on the stage.
Every person that grows, must first change from the inside, believe you are that person, then move on to actions as that person, even when you may not feel to have become already.
That is evolution and it quite happens to all. As Rev. Sam Adeyemi would recall on when God asked him to go and speak about leadership and success and yet he couldn’t acclaim to any accomplishment in those area. Yet he believed he believed he was successful and worked towards it, and he would proclaim it, speak in seminars and conference on it. And now as of written, he is the senior pastor of Daystar Christian Center also among Forbes Coaching Council on leadership, among other great achievements. Many more have similar story, the likes of Dr. David Oyedepo, Napoleon Hill.
💡 So, we all need improvement and when you meet with improvement, gladly take it on as a better version of you. REMEMBER: Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again. - Abraham Maslow
What’s Your Thought?
Have you ever wanted to change an act or habit but felt like you were just faking it?
Do you always get worried people saying, “She is just faking”, when you choose to be different?
What key improvement would you like to make, but have been limited by the thought of what others would think?
P.S: Hit the reply button and share your answers. Your valuable insight is much appreciated and would not just be read by me but could be shared in our next newsletter.
Deeper Dive:
BOOK: Russ Harris (The Confidence Gap: A Guide to Overcoming Fear and Self-Doubt)
YOUTUBE: Emeka Ansalem (Don’t fake it, just don’t fake it… You just need genuine engraftment. - David Oyedepo)
YOUTUBE: Maxwell Leadership (I am a possibilist… What it means is that I think positively, I think impossibilities, but I am also willing to work for those possibilities.)
YOUTUBE: Ali Abdaal (There is no difference between me pretending or acting as if I am confident and actually being confident, therefore I will choose to act confident. I will fake it until I make it.)
WEBSITE: Corla Gasser (When the feelings don’t follow the actions, I think I am phony, fake, and inauthentic.)
WEBSITE: Forbes (Being fake or feeling like a fake is the shortest path to Imposer Syndrome.)
P.S: Feel free to reply, critic, expound and discuss any topic with me hortharn@substack.com. I am always delighted to reply back.
Be Determined, Stay Focus,
Ekerete Lord-kris.
(Hortharn)